Get directions | 210 E 3rd St, New York, NY 10009
Hours | Sunday 12pm-10pm, Monday Closed, Tuesday 12pm-11pm, Wednesday 12pm-11pm, Thursday 12pm-11pm, Friday 12pm-11pm, Saturday 12pm-11pm
When we first reviewed Cafe Cortadito in the infancy of this website back in 2009, it had just opened and was a quaint, low-key Cuban joint that served excellent, authentic food. The menu remains pretty much untouched, but time has changed this place. Well, actually, brunch has changed this place. Significantly.
If this review were simply for dinner, it’d get a solid 7.5. Keep that in mind when you’re assessing the situation here. The Cuban dishes are just as they were – heavy-handed and tasty. The Ropa Vieja is still incredibly satisfying, and their chicken and yellow rice is a current Postmates go-to. Also, the empanadas, yuca fries, and sauteed chorizo with peppers and onions always get the job done right. What’s our problem then? Three words. Party. Time. Brunch.
We may be old (ish), but we’re young at heart. We can still get down like it’s spring break circa 2001, at least in our minds. What we’re trying to say is we can appreciate a good time, even if we’re not going to get hammered at 1pm on a Sunday anymore. However, under no circumstance is Party Time Brunch where they are blasting LMFAO’s ‘Sexy and I Know It’ (in 2015) at levels that would leave an infant deaf in one ear a good time. Neither is serving ‘all you can drink’ sangria that tastes like watered-down Hawaiian Punch, or soggy lobster eggs benedict with the texture of rubber.
During bottomless, boozy brunch, this place is unbearable. Even if we were still in the phase of our lives when this was the kind of thing we were looking for, Cafe Cortadito would be the last place we’d come to, other than their next door neighbor, Poco, which is even worse.
We’re really sorry to do this, Cafe Cortadito, but brunch is such a disaster that this review rating has to come down all the way to 4.5. If you at least changed the music to something a little more current and a little less awful, we’d be willing to bump it up a point. Blast us with something good! Just put on Jamie xx’s ‘I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)’ on repeat. It’ll make a big difference and your clientele would probably appreciate it.